Extravaganza!!!

Hm...I've decided to post some of the working's in my sketches on here. I've noticed that I don't really discuss my art much even though it is a huge part of my life now as I work towards my degree in Illustration.

It's only *slightly* important.

Here goes!

Pastel Self Portrait for Heads, Hands and Facial.

*I look so bored!*

Portfolio Collage I did for a song I like.

"Bleed American"

Current Sketches:

Cartoon CharacterSketch for a Comic Strip Panel Project

Bunny! Sketch for Black and White Clayboard Project.

(i should add fangs no? make it a monty python reference?)

Poster I created to promote a Stargate show about Ancients (like that'd ever happen).

Photoshop!

PHOTOSHOP MADNESS:

And just for kicks, an OLD color pencil drawing I did back in high school. :-P

Love Redux

Well, it's just plain strange when these moments occur.

I am talking of course, about those moments where the lines start to blur and you start to question if this is appropriate or not based on the relationships you have with that person.

It started out as a normal fun dinner/tv night in my dorm room that ended in us pinning each other down on the roomie's bed, sweating, panting and practically pressed to each other. Normally, I'd enjoy this as a regular bout of wrestling but this was with my ex-boyfriend. My most recent ex that is going to college with me and I still find myself having feelings for. The problem is I have no idea where I stand with him. He's the king of mixed messages between not saying anything in terms of how he feels about me most of the time, being distant, being like a friend and then turning around 180 degrees, which means him hugging me, telling me he loves me, and what not. There's no kissing, no actual physical show that he would have feelings for me other than the "i love you's" and hugging. Oh, and let's not forget the ass slapping.

It's just I don't know what to make of it and it was no more apparent that I still felt something towards him when we were staring at each other after having wrestled for some time and we were trying to regain our breath. It was so intimate that I was caught off guard. He hesitated too but it could just be me.

Regardless, the lines need to be redrawn, in some way, shape or form because I cannot go on like this. This constant game of affection, of crossing these borders because how can I move on or how can he expect me to move on when I'm constantly being sucked right back in?

I just wish I knew if he was doing it intentionally or not.

Ugh. Men.

"As the city is my witness, I am who I want to be"

It's the start of a new college for me.

I've officially moved to Rochester to begin my new life as a full time student at RIT, home of the Tiger. *rawr*

So far, it's been an interesting experience, one full of emotional highs but I am enjoying the ride. I've been trying to immerge myself into the campus experience and sure, it was hard the other night when I didn't know where I fit in but I cannot let it stop me.

I feel like I do not belong in any group. I'm not either entirely Deaf or entirely Hearing. I'm a "bastardization" of the Deaf individual. I depend entirely on my hearing aids to hear and they restore up to 80% of my hearing and I was raised to learn how to hear and communicate verbally. I cannot imagine a world without music, speech and sound, which is ironic. As a result, the purely Deaf community on campus is a little leery of me because most of them were raised to embrace their cultural difference and that being "forced" to hear (like I was) is a horrible thing to do to a child. On the other end of the spectrum, I'm not entirely like those that can hear 100%. I can relate them to much much more and they are who make up most of my friends. As a result, I fall in the middle and I'm really learning how to deal with this at the college where there is this huge division between the Deaf and Hearing.

I'm proud to say that I can hear, speak, sing, play music and communicate verbally because to me, being hearing impaired was just something to overcome. It is inherently a part of me; a part I will never lose sight of but it does not define me.

So, I am trying to keep an open and positive outlook going which will only help me reassure and define my own identity as I attend RIT.

I am definitely very excited because I am determined to not let myself limit what I feel I can or cannot do, such as certain clubs or activities I'd love to do.

We had a Club/Activities Fair on campus today and I signed up for my two passions in life:

*The RIT College Radio and learn how to become a DJ.

* The RIT Players. It's a theater group.

I've always wanted to be involved in the college music scene and I thought what better time than now to try my hand at it? The people from the radio said I had the voice and personality for it and that if I can finish the DJ training sessions, I'd be more than welcome to be a part of the radio crew. I cannot wait to see what they entail. Music, people, and talking are some of my favorite things in life.

As far as the theater goes, I've always had a love for the theater. In the past, I've always held myself back from being involved in the whole theater group because I felt that with my hearing, I wouldn't be able to give 100% of myself in a performance. However, I've gotten two theater classes under my belt and I feel more confident. Also, I'm interested in the production that goes into putting on a show such as the Directing, Costuming, Producing, Lighting, Set Design, etc.

Who knows? I might end up just committing to one club and being amazingly happy at it but how will I know if I don't at least TRY?

Once again, here's a virtual toast to my new life at RIT!